|
| ok so im finally not grounded and i can hang out but since half the ppl that i kno on xanga are on Esperanza i wont have a chance to hang out with u guys, but to anyone else that still checks this if u wanna hang out let me kno. | | |
| ok so for those of u who care about my beloved computer (who will be called Compy from now on) she is still not working. my dad tinkered with her and noticed that my system fans are fine and came to the conclusion that Windows XP has crashed. this means that all 564845648946548945636003498456489794.14 if my pictures are gone, all of my music is gone, and anything else that i cared about on Compy is gone. we have to wait for our computer guy to come down and reinstall Windows on it. that thoroughly angers me cuz i have to fight for this shitty living room computer.
in other news...football was ok today. i was with the wide recievers and i did pretty good. i only dropped one pass. everything else that i missed was the QBs fault...and yes thats true...they led me too much, and they threw higher than i can jump and behind me.
our POPs concert was tonite...not much else to say about that.
well i have nothing else to say... | | |
| im a total fuck up. a waste of time, space, air, and effort. theres no hope of me ever changing. whats the point of going on...
my mom told me to drop out of school and get out of her house...then she sed i can stay if i want to pay rent...how about fuck that.
im gonna be doing football with Valhalla this coming season. prolly varsity.
on a different note...thank u to jon parks' mom and fucking Heather(our roommate) for making me and jon walk the three fucking miles home after football tryouts. dickheads...
just send me to hell already...im close enuff and its not gonna get any better from what i hear. | | |
| so im in a very shitty mood rite now and i just need to write.
i'll start with these dreams i have been having...in a nutshell i have been dying in them very horrible deaths at least i think they are. and when i wake up whatever happend to me physically in the dream i can feel. like in the dream i had 2 nites ago i had to cut my chest open to try and have my heart put back in and i woke up after dying and my chest felt like it had been cut, then in the one last nite i was stabbed and beaten and when i woke up i hurt all over. i dunno what they mean but im scared to go to sleep now.
next is my mom hasnt sed a word to me since sunday. she got mad at me cuz i didnt do the dishes the way she likes them done and she pushed me out of the kitchen and threw the dishes away and sed that we had to use paper plates, plastic ware, and plastic cups. since then she hasnt sed anything to me at all. i tried to talk to her a few times but she just turns away, walks away, or ignores me. at first i didnt care but now its really getting to me. i feel very unwanted in my own house and im seriously contemplating running away. i just dont have a place i can go that my mom wouldnt find me. tonite was the first time i have cried in about a month or 2...prolly longer. i was telling viv (in more detail) about all this and i just broke down and started crying. i feel like shit and i just want to leave. its not like my mom would care at this point.
school still sucks. i dont feel any motivation to do anything. even guard has lost its appeal to me. at least high school guard has.
today just sucked. nuthing really went wrong, it just kinda started off wrong and never got rite. i was sitting in geometry thinking to myself that i really dont pay any attention in any classes except history and biology. i mite as well not even be there since all i do is sit there and pretend to be listening. life just seems to be a let down rite now and i cant find a reason to want to go any further with it. i dont have any real ambitions, i cant join the military like i wanted to, i dont have the patience to go to school to become a teacher, no one in my family supports the fact that i want to be a guard instructor cuz the money is shit. w/e tho..theres no point in bitching about it.
i want out.... | | |
| fuck u guys i totally lost my roller coaster virginity...my very first real roller coaster with loops and corkscrews was Riddlers Revenge, then next was Batman. i also rode Psyclone, and Ninja and 2 water rides. we went to Mongolian Bar-b-que and damn was that good...i wasnt finished digesting my Triple Cheeseburger and Panda Express from Magic Mountain but it was still good. but yah im not scared of roller coasters anymore and i ate way too much today. thats about all that happend.
until next time kiddies....
| | |
|
|
